The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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