Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
youre lurking in front of me
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
