Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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