I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
