Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
