look no pants
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize