Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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