just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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