you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same