Can i not drive my cunt home
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.