Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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