Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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