Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
