I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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