it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
