i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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