you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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