Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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