i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
