I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
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Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
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I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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