Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
