Please, let me fuck your mom
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
