Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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