See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
