I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Randomize
