there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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