Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize