i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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