Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
