I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We are two peas in an std pod
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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