once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Congratulations! We have a period
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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