One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
