that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think my fart just growled at me.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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