just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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