My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
