remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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