Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
