She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
