so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
