do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
