i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I need water and some morals
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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