I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
