1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize