so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
