I look better un-naked...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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