He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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