Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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