That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
