You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize