I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
