YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
