hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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