A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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