There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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