so let's talk penis.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
