i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's just like the Real World with babies
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
