I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
