Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
