with your own penis?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I am midnight drunk by noon
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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