the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
