How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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