O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
