May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
