great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
