I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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