My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
