i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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