Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I don't deserve a penis
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
