Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
