im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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