Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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