My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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