Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
